Regretting Doesn't Change
by AllAboutTheWriting
Summary: Rick comes back to Degrassi after a year of hiding. Has he changed? Has anyone else?
1. Pinch Me

**Regretting Doesn't Change**

Summary: Rick comes back to Degrassi after a year of hiding. Has he changed at all? Has anyone else?

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Very beginning of "Mercy Street"

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the beginning of this story, Epitome Pictures does. I just own the plot.

Author's notes: I didn't like Mercy Street, mainly because I like Rick and I don't want him to shoot up Degrassi in "Time Stands Still 1/2". Whoops! Did I just give that away? My bad!

* * *

Chapter 1 Pinch Me

Marco, Alex, and Spinner were standing on the front steps of Degrassi when Paige walked up.

"Someone tell me I'm hallucinating," Paige looked with her friends at the scene below.

Rick and his mother were talking with Mr. Raditch. Every now and then, Rick would shift his eyes over to them, only to dart them back nervously.

"Who is he?" Emma joined the four of them.

Spinner jumped at the chance to spread Rick's bad name around. "Remember our friend Terri McGregor? The girl who was in a coma last year?"

Paige joined in. "He's the psycho who put her there. His name's Rick, her ex. He used to beat her."

"Yeah, and he's your new classmate Emma," Spinner remarked happily, the sarcasm dripping. "He starts tenth grade tomorrow."

"Where has he been?"

Paige looked at her, shaking her head. "What's it matter?"

"I don't know."

"Don't tell me cause girl is going to start something," Alex joked.

"No!" Emma hated being called "cause girl". "I was just thinking." She shrugged. "Maybe he's going to counseling. He could have changed."

Paige looked at her in disbelief. "He put Ter in the hospital!" She got in Emma's face. "Scum like that just doesn't change!"

Mr. Raditch turned around and looked at the group. He excused himself and hustled up the stairs. "Miss Michaelchuk?" He tapped his foot impatiently. "Is there a problem?"

"No Mr. Raditch," Spinner answered for his girlfriend. "Come on Paige." He grabbed her arm and literally yanked her away from Emma. Mr. Raditch went back down to the Murrays.

Emma stayed where she was and looked at Rick. To be totally honest, he didn't look like the abuser everyone accused him of being. Emma shook her head and went into the building.

* * *

That was short. Anyway, couple of things before Ch. 2:

-If you've seen Mercy Street and/or know anything about Emma, you're probably thinking that she would never give someone like Rick a chance. As the name of this site suggests though, it's only fiction. I just wanted someone to give Rick a chance.

-In this, Rick isn't a bad guy.

-Even if you totally hate Rick, please give my story a chance!


	2. Cause Girl and Psycho Freak Boy

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the beginning of this story, Epitome Pictures does. I just own the plot.

Chapter 2

Thank you so much to those of you who reviewed! I really appreciate it. Whoever said they didn't like that I started out with Mercy Street (I have no memory so you'll have to forgive me!), you have a point. I was just more concerned with putting out my story than being original.

Sorry it's taking me so long to write chapters. I was sort of banned from the computer.

* * *

"Oh my gosh! Look at Heather's dress!" Paige pointed out the fashion challenged girl to Hazel. They were sitting in the cafe eating lunch.

"So gross," she agreed.

"'Oh my gosh!' " Spinner mocked her in a high pitched voice. "What was she thinking?!" Paige responded by throwing a roll at him. Spinner and Jimmy sat down next to their girlfriends.

"Hello Paige, Hazel, Jimmy, Spinner. Mind if I sit here?" Rick motioned towards the seat next to Paige. For a good minute or two, the four just glared at him. Obviously, Rick didn't notice or didn't care because he wasn't moving.

Paige picked her stuff up from her desk and threw it on the chair. She turned around and resumed her conversation.

Looking dejected, Rick searched for another seat. Unfortunately, he was met with the same response everywhere else he tried to sit. Just as he was about to give up, he heard a voice behind him.

"You can sit here." He turned around and saw that a blonde haired girl was talking to him. It was the same person who had been staring at him yesterday.

Thrown off a little by her offer, Rick hesitated for a minute. "Thanks," he sat down across from her, realizing he should be thankful for any seat.

"My name's Emma," she extended her hand.

"Rick."

Emma continued talking as Rick looked off into the distance behind her.

"Hello?" Rick snapped back as a hand waved in front off his face.

"Oh, um sorry, what?"

"What are you looking at?" She turned around and saw Toby, JT, and Liberty whispering and pointing over to where Emma and Rick were. Emma waved and signaled for them to join her.

Realizing that they had been spotted, they quickly scattered.

"I should go," Rick stood up to leave.

"Why?" Emma grabbed his arm.

"I don't want to cause any problems for you." He broke Emma's grasp and threw his tray of food away. He wasn't so hungry any more.

* * *

"So what's cause girl doing with psycho freak boy?"

Just who I wanted to see, Emma thought as she looked up. "Go to hell Alex."

"Ow," Alex said sarcastically as she put a hand on her chest. "That hurt." She rolled her eyes and walked away.

"She did ask a reasonable question," Liberty sat across from Emma.

"I wasn't doing anything with him. He just didn't have anywhere to sit so I thought I'd be nice," she shrugged.

"You do know what he did last year, right?"

"To that girl Terri? Yeah, I heard."

"Yet you're conversing with him?"

"Look Liberty, what he did was wrong, okay atrocious, but people can change."

"Regardless of, do you want to become the next Safe Haven spokeswoman?"

"Just drop it Liberty!" Emma snapped, walking away.

* * *

So what does everyone think? I think this chapter seems a little rushed (it was!) but I wanted to update.

Let me know if it really sucks so that I can rewrite it. Thanks! :)P


	3. Dearest Terri

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the beginning of this story, Epitome Pictures does. I just own the plot.

Chapter 3 Dearest Terri

I can't believe Liberty, Emma thought as she walked down the hallway. What right did she have to judge Rick? Emma shook her head and continued walking.

Straight ahead of her, Rick was standing in front of his locker. Before Emma had even got near him, Spinner walked up behind him.

"Why, hello Richard." Spinner gave an evil smirk. Cautiously, he gulped and looked up. As soon as he realized it was Spinner, he recoiled as if he had been struck.

In one swift motion, Spinner shoved Rick into his locker and closed it, making sure it locked. Like a kid at Christmas, he walked away.

Oh, my gosh, Emma stared at the back of Spinner's head in shock with her mouth wide open. The lockers were somewhat big, but she didn't think someone could actually fit inside one.

"Rick?" She gently tapped on his locker door. "Are you okay?"

"Claustrophobic..." He sounded like he was having a panic attack.

"What's your locker combination?" Emma knew she had to get him out of there quick.

"Seventeen. Four. Thirty... thirty..." His voice began to falter.

"Thirty what?" Emma got no response. "Rick! Thirty what?"

"Two..."

Emma's fingers flew over the combination lock. She tugged on it, but it wouldn't open. She tried again. This time, it gave a little click as it opened. Emma thrust the door open and pulled Rick out. He immediately collapsed. His face was bright red and he was wheezing.

"Are you okay?" Emma knelt down next to him. He was on all fours and the color was coming back to his face. "Do you need me to get the nurse?"

"No thanks. I'll be fine." He threw his stuff into his locker and without even closing it, he took off.

"You're welcome," Emma muttered under her breath. She looked at the floor near her feet. When Rick and tumbled out of his locker, he had sent papers everywhere. She sighed and bent down to pick them up.

In all of the clutter, she found an envelope. It read "To Terri". There was a heart above the "i". Intrigued, Emma opened it up.

_Dearest Terri,_

_My love, can you ever forgive me? I won't doubt your first thought a no. Please though Terri, from the depths of my being I am remorseful at my abysmal act(s) of violence. I have never once pleaded for anything as I am pleading now. I know my apologies are trite, but I guarantee I have changed for the better. I've tried to elucidate this to all the others, but they will have none of it. Terri, I know that if anyone can find me sincere, it's you. I'm not requesting you to be my comrade or companion; I'm solely writing for the objective of your exoneration. _

_I'll understand if this reaches a conflagration before it touches your hands, but I yearn for your eyes to graze this. Please, if at all possible, could you counter this epistle? Even a post-it with a yes or no would fulfill._

_The Man Captured By Your Eyes and Kept By Your Laugh,_

_Rick_

Emma felt a tear run off of her cheek as she read the end. It was absolutely beautiful. Suddenly, her expression turned to stone. She was outraged by how people were treating him. What more did people want from him? He couldn't possibly be any more apologetic than he already was.

Emma put the note in her pocket and finished cleaning up.

* * *

So what did you guys think of the letter? I tried to use the biggest words I knew. To be totally honest, I got a lot of them from a thesaurus. Basically, they sum up to this: remorseful-sorry, abysmal-terrible, trite-repetitive, elucidate-clarify, exoneration-apology, conflagration-fire, and epistle-letter. 


	4. Catfight

Ch. 4 Catfight

Rating: PG

"Emma?" Mrs. Kwan snapped her out of her own little world.

"Yes Mrs. Kwan?"

"Can you answer the question?" She folded her arms and gave her a glare.

"Could you repeat the question?" Emma blushed slightly as her classmates giggled at her.

Mrs. Kwan sighed and turned around. "Ah! Richard. Maybe you could help out Emma?"

"Sorry Mrs. Kwan, I really don't know."

Mrs. Kwan frowned. "Okay..." Never before had two of her brightest students been unable to answer the same question. She shook her head and moved on.

"Aw. Is Emma too busy daydreaming about her new boyfriend to care about Hamlet?" Alex whispered loud enough for everyone but Mrs. Kwan to hear. Again, most of her classmates snickered.

"And who's that?" Paige asked nosily.

"A Richard Murry." Alex grinned.

Emma couldn't take it anymore. Without thinking, she turned around and slapped Alex hard in the jaw.

"You little..." Alex stood up and lunged at Emma. Jay and another guy pried the two apart.

"Emma! Alex! Principal's office now!" Mrs. Kwan yelled at both of them as she pointed to the door.

Before leaving, the two gave each other a look of hatred. After they left, all eyes turned to Rick. He started blushing and slumped into his chair trying to hide.

* * *

Emma winced as she tenderly rubbed her right eye. Alex had managed to give her a nasty black eye before being pulled off of her. 

"I cannot believe you Emma Nelson. Getting into a skirmish with Alex over a male? Rick nonetheless??"

Emma took a deep breath and turned around. "Liberty, if you don't get the hell off of my back I'm gonna get in a skirmish with you!" She got right in Liberty's face.

"Sorry, just don't turn into Rick on me." Liberty huffed and walked off.

Emma squealed in anger as she whipped back around. In doing so, she ran right into someone, sending them both flying. Papers and books flew everywhere.

"I'm so sorry," Emma apologized as she gathered her things up.

"It's fine," someone mumbled.

"Rick." Emma realized whom she had run into.

"Yeah, thanks." He took the book Emma was holding out to him. "I gotta go."

"Oh no you don't." Emma grabbed his shoulder and twirled him around. "You are going to talk to me if I have anything to say about it."

"I can't, I gotta go." He tried to walk away, but Emma wouldn't let go off him. "Do you mind letting go of me?"

"Not until we talk." Looking defeated, Rick rolled his eyes and turned around.

"I've got five minutes. Talk."

"You haven't said two sentences to me the whole time you've been here."

"So." He shrugged. "I haven't known your name over two hours."

"Do you have any idea how many times I've stuck up for you? I don't even know you and I'm defending you!" Emma threw her hands in the air.

"Well I thank you for the gesture," Rick muttered through gritted teeth, "but you needn't concern yourself with me anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Emma put her hands on her hips.

"If it's so inconvenient for you, don't bolster me anymore!" He stormed off.

"You're welcome," Emma muttered, watching him leave.

* * *

I have an early Christmas present for everyone! Why haven't I updated in forever, you ask? Why because I was writing! I have eight new chapters for you!!! Yay!! 


	5. Boiling Point

Ch.5 Boiling Point

Rating: PG

"Ah…" Rick sighed to himself as he walked along the bank of the pond. He was thinking about what that Emma girl had said. Why was she, of all people, sticking up for him? He didn't even really know her. Well, he gave a guilty grin; he knew she was very attractive. "Forget it…" She would never be interested in him. Especially after the childish act he pulled earlier this morning.

Without warning, Rick ran straight into something. He looked up.

"Uh… I-I… um…" He started stammering once he realized whom he had just run into: Jay. Alex was with him.

"Hey f-reak." Jay shoved Rick to the ground. "How's it going?" He squatted down and put his face right in Rick's.

"God, Jay! Look at him. He's all dirty now," Alex remarked as she stood over Jay.

"You're right," Jay agreed as he looked Rick over. "Let's give him a bath." Jay grabbed Rick's shirt with both of his hands. He dragged him over to the pond.

"No… I…" Rick tried to protest as he was literally picked up off of the ground.

"Have a nice time." Jay swiftly through the boy into the murky water below.

As Rick surfaced and began gasping for air, Alex and Jay burst out laughing. As they walked off, Alex shouted behind her, "Don't forget to scrub behind your ears!" She looked at him one last time before taking off.

"Great!" Rick took his jacket off and swung it as close to the grass as he could. It landed a foot in front of him. His jaw clenched as he tried to control his anger. He closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten. He opened his eyes. Slowly, he drudged out of the water. Not even bothering to dry off, he continued on his way home.


	6. Wonderful

Ch.6 _Wonderful_

**Rating: R (This is a really dark chapter. Really strong language, violence, and (just for lack of a better word) dark in general, so be warned!)**

"Where the hell have you been you little bastard?!" Rick's mother was sprawled out on the couch, probably drunk and high as usual.

"I tripped, fell into the pond." He put his dry backpack onto the table and began walking upstairs.

"Watch the carpet! You're getting it all wet!"

"I'm fine mother," he whispered, his voice emotionless, though she wouldn't have heard him anyway.

Closing the bathroom door behind him, Rick shed his jacket. He propped himself up on the sink and looked into the mirror. Seeing himself soaking wet, his anger bubbled to the surface. Shrieking in anger, he slammed the insides of his fist against his reflection.

Enough shards of glass remained that Rick could still see his distorted reflection. Then, he looked at his hands. Blood was dripping, drop by drop, into the sink. Suddenly, he fell to the floor crying. He was so tired of everything. He wrapped his hands in a washcloth.

He looked downstairs. Sure enough, his mother had finally passed out cold. A determined look on his face, he went into the hall closet. After a few minutes of scrounging around, he had found what he was looking for, his father's old hand pistol. He had no idea why his mother had kept it after he died, but she had.

Slowly, he touched the cool metal with his hand.

**I close my eyes when I get too sad  
****I think thoughts that I know are bad  
****Close my eyes and I count to ten  
****Hope it's over when I open them  
****I want the things that I had before  
****Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door  
****I wish I could count to ten  
****Make everything be wonderful again**

He closed his eyes as he remembered the song that he had declared as his motto when he was younger. It was called "Wonderful". Very ironic uh?

**Hold my mom and I hold my dad  
****Can't figure out why they get so mad  
****I them scream, I hear them fight  
****They say bad words that make me wanna cry**

In between lyrics, one of his more suppressed memories came back.

_A much younger Rick arrives home to find his parents arguing in the kitchen. Not old enough to realize to stay away, he stands in the doorway._

_Mr. Murry is in another one of his fits. "How could you do this to your family?! Spending all our money on those fucking drugs! That was supposed to last us all month!!" He gets right up in his wife's face._

_"Don't pull that shit with me! Who spent all the money on beer and his hookers last week?!" She screams at him._

_His face turns beat red and he loses it. He slaps Mrs. Murry with the back of his hand. He starts to beat her. "Never speak to me like that ever again you bitch!!" A horrified Rick attempts to step in._

_"No! Daddy stop!" He steps in between his parents._

_"Get the fuck out of the way!!" Mr. Murry shoves him into the living room, causing him to land on the back of his head._

_"Don't touch him you asshole!" Out of Rick's sight, Mrs. Murry screams in defense of her son._

_"Shut the fuck up!" Mr. Murry grabs a dining room chair. He walks out of sight and the next thing Rick hears is the screams of his mother and the sickening sound of wood on flesh._

**Close my eyes when I go to bed  
****And I dream of angels who make me smile  
****I feel better when I hear them say  
****Everything will be wonderful someday**

_Rick runs, horror-stricken, up to his room. With the lights turned off, he crawls under the covers. He shakes as he prays for his mother's fate not to become his own._

_At least a half an hour later, light pours into his room from the hallway. He peeks out from the covers and to his terror, sees his father with a belt._

**Promises mean everything when you're little and the world's so big  
****I just don't understand how, you can smile with all those tears in your eyes  
****And tell me everything is wonderful now  
****Na na na na na na  
****Na na na na na na  
****Na na na na na na  
****Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now**

_Rick, now battered and bloody, still lays unmoving under his covers. Tears are streaming down his face as the pain ripples over his body._

_"Ricky?" He hears his mother's voice and can tell she is crying as well. "I'm sorry about your father honey. You know how stressed he is. He's warned you time and time again…" She sighs and stands in the doorway. "Things will get better."_

**Go to school and I run and play  
****I tell the kids that it's all okay  
****I laugh a lot so my friends won't know  
****When the bell rings I just don't wanna go**

_"Rick?" One of the boy's few friends runs up to him the next day at school. "Why do you have bruises all over your face?"_

_"I lost my balance and fell down the stairs." He carefully repeats the lie his mother rehearsed with him._

_"Let's go play basketball!" The child completely forgets any of his concerns._

_"I'm going to go inside." Rick can barely move much less play any sports. The library is much safer to him._

**Go to my room and I close my eyes  
****I make believe that I have a new life  
****I don't believe you when you say  
****Everything will be wonderful someday  
****Promises mean everything when you're little and the world is so big  
****I just don't understand how, you can smile with all those tears in your eyes  
****When you tell me everything is wonderful now**

_As Rick sits in his room, horrible images about his father run through his mind, his father's dead body in the middle of a car wreck, his father six feet under, his father's remains after being eaten by maggots and worms…_

_"Ricky?" His mother walks into the room. "It's your father. He was in a car wreck." Rick swore a smile crossed her face as she said the last part, "He didn't make it." He knew he was right when she spoke again. "Everything will be wonderful now!"_

**Na na na na na na  
****No  
****Na na na na na na  
****No  
****I don't wanna hear you tell me  
****Everything is wonderful now  
****Na na na na na na  
****No  
****Na na na na na na  
****No  
****I don't wanna hear you tell me  
****Everything is wonderful now  
****I don't wanna hear you say  
****That I will understand someday  
****No (no) no (no) no (no) no  
****I don't wanna hear you say  
****Hope has gone in a different way  
****No (no) no (no) no (no) no**

That was the happiest moment of Rick's life, second, if at all, only to the day he had laid eyes on Terri McGregor.

He loved spending time with them, Terri and her father. They were such a perfect, happy, normal family. They were everything he had ever wanted out of his own life.

"Maybe I should just make everyone happy and get this over with now. Save Spinner the trouble." He looked at the gun. Deciding to get it all out, he wrote his last thoughts.

Suddenly, he felt as if he had an epiphany. "Why hurt myself?" His face was emotionless. "I'll give them their own medicine." He put the gun in his backpack.

**I don't wanna meet your friend  
****I don't wanna start over again  
****I just want my life to be the same  
****Just like it used to be  
****Somedays I hate everything  
****I hate everything  
****Everyone and everything  
****Please don't tell me  
****Everything is wonderful now  
****Na na na na na na  
****No  
****Na na na na na na  
****Please don' t tell me  
****Everything is wonderful now  
****Na na na na na na  
****Please don't tell me  
****Everything is wonderful now  
****Na na na na na na  
****I don't wanna hear you tell me  
****Everything is wonderful now  
****No  
****Please don't tell me  
****Everything is wonderful now  
****Na na na na na na  
****Na na na na na na  
****Oooo yeah yeah  
****Everything is wonderful now **

Rick walked into the bathroom, calmly bandaged his hands, and cleaned the sink.

* * *

See? I told you it was really dark. I just didn't see Rick coming from a family that didn't make the Osbournes look like the Brady Bunch. 


	7. Award Ceremony

Ch.7 Award Ceremony

Rating: PG

"Attention students." Homeroom had just started and Mr. Raditich's face appeared on all the computer screens. "Today we will be having a ceremony honoring those students who have achieved numerous academic awards. So today at 1:30 it is requested that the student body gather at the auditorium. Thank you." His face was replaced by the Degrassi logo.

"Think you'll be on any lists?" Emma swiveled around in her chair and whispered to Rick.

"I wouldn't know." Rick tried to busy himself with something on his computer screen.

"Hey Emma? Want to pay attention?" Mr. Simpson looked at her. She turned back around.

She opened up an IM chat with Rick.

**sparklespaz: look, i just wanted 2 apologize about 2day. sorry. i shouldn't have made such a scene.**

**20SidedDie: Don't concern yourself about it. If anything I should thank you.**

**sparklespaz: y?**

**20SidedDie: The temporary embarrassment from that hallway outburst and your fight with Alex postponed any childish moves from Spinner and friends.**

**sparklespaz: y do u let them push u around?**

**20SidedDie: What exactly do you propose it is I do to stop them? Run to Mr. Raditch? Hardly. I can, believe it or not, fend for myself.**

**sparklespaz: whats that mean?**

Suddenly, a new window opened up on Emma's computer.

**Mr. Simpson: Call me crazy, but school is for schoolwork, not computer conversations!**

Emma closed the screen and went back to the one with Rick.

**sparklespaz: caught! G2G.**

She closed out of that screen as well and paid attention to the lesson, the back of her mind however was focused on Rick.

* * *

"Man, you sure about this?" Spinner looked behind him nervously as he and Jay slipped into the janitor's closet behind the auditorium. 

"Dude! Chill!" Jay pulled out some stuff he had stashed the previous morning.

"But what if the freak doesn't win?" He closed the door and switched the light on.

"I told you! Alex saw Raditich's files on the ceremony. Cool thing about dating a vice pres." He handed Spinner a paint can and a plastic bag; then he smiled. "Let's do this."

* * *

As Emma walked into the auditorium, she looked around. Normally, she would have sat next to JT, Toby, or Liberty, but they had completely alienated her. Her look turned to concern when she saw Rick. He had at least a five-foot radius of empty chairs around him. She was torn about where to sit. Ultimately, she took a seat in the very back at the end of the row. 

The next half an hour, student by student made their way onstage to get awards ranging from attendance to honor roll.

As the end of the ceremony began drawing near, Marco and Alex made their way to the podium. Marco spoke first.

"Now, the final award to be given." He smiled and held up a plaque. Then he moved over, smile plastered on. Alex was a foot away from the stand. Her arms were crossed and she looked like this was the last place she wanted to be. Marco turned around and pulled her over next to him. She rolled her eyes and spoke.

"This award goes to the biggest dork ever to grace the halls of Degra-" Before she could finish, Marco pulled the microphone away from her. Giving her a death look for screwing with the speech, he turned around. He smiled and spoke again.

"What my VP here meant to say is that this award goes to the student who has shown exemplary academic achievement. And the winner is…" Marco took a dramatic pause as he opened an envelope, "Richard Murry!" He politely started clapping. Aside from him, the teachers, and Emma, no one was applauding.

Looking as if he was going to receive death itself, Rick walked onstage. Marco shook his hand and gave him the trophy. Then he motioned for Rick to give a speech. Hesitantly, he stood at the podium. Just as he was about to speak, he felt something warm hit his head.

* * *

Emma shifted in her seat. She felt so sorry for Rick as he made his way onstage. He looked so alone. Then, Emma noticed a flash of red above Rick's head. It was all over within seconds.

* * *

I just had to leave a dramatic pause! 


	8. Confessions

Ch.8 Confessions

Rating: PG

Emma gasped as she looked at Rick. Blood-red paint and tampons had dropped from the ceiling and landed all over him.

The whole auditorium burst into laughter. Emma looked around horrified. The teachers weren't laughing; they were just staring at Rick in shock. Alex was almost rolling around the floor in laughter. Marco had been sprayed with the paint, but he didn't seem to notice. He just looked around in disbelief.

Rick looked out into the crowd of his peers. He shoved his hair out of his face and ran off stage. He made a beeline for his chair, grabbed his backpack, and darted into the hallway.

Afraid that he might do something stupid, Emma followed him. "Rick?" She burst out into the halls and saw nothing. Cautiously, she walked around the corner.

_I cannot believe that someone did that!_ Emma shook her head in frustration. _Is that how Degrassi deals with abusive people? They're abusive right back? How ironic. Where's Rick? He shouldn't have gotten too far._

Emma suddenly heard sobs coming from around the corner. "Rick!" She found the boy sitting on a bench with his head in his hands; he was crying. "Rick…" Emma's voice was filled with sympathy as she inched over towards him.

"Leave me alone." His voice was shaky and emotionless. It scared Emma.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay…"

Rick put his head up and looked forward. "Do I look alright? Is being covered in paint and feminine products alright to you?"

"Look, whoever did that just showed even more how immature they are."

"Emma!" The girl jumped at the volume and sharpness of his voice. He was freaking her out. "Drop it!"

Going against her better judgment, she pressed him further. "Fine, just answer me this. Why did you come back to Degrassi? I mean, you had to know you weren't going to be very well liked."

"My mother." Rick gave a hollow laugh and shook his head. "She said "Ricky, go back to school. Show them you've changed." Please, reformed or not, nobody cares. Besides," he leaned back, "it should have been over last night."

"What are you talking about?" Emma advanced towards him.

"Nothing." Rick stood up and started to walk away, his backpack slung over his shoulder. Suddenly, he stopped. As if he had a change of heart, he walked back towards Emma. "Since you'll probably find someway to learn my secret anyway…" He handed her a letter.

"What's this?" Emma looked it over.

"Read it." Rick tapped his foot impatiently as Emma read it.

"Oh my God, Rick…" Emma looked up horrified. "You were going to-"

"Am and don't try to talk me out of it." Rick ripped the letter from her hand.

"You can't commit suicide Rick! What's that going to solve?!"

"Everything!" He looked into her eyes. "No more Rick. Terri can come back to Degrassi. No more Rick. Spinner and friends can be satisfied knowing they won. No more Rick, no more problems." He looked away ashamed. "I'm never going to hurt anyone again." He started crying.

"Rick, people change. You've changed." She put her hand on his shoulder.

"No Emma. They don't, especially people like me. My father showed me that years ago."

"What do you mean?"

"Like father like son." He turned around and started to walk away.

"You mean… he hit you?" Emma barely spoke above a whisper.

Rick turned around. His face was drenched in tears. "Yeah. He did. Unfortunately for everyone, he's no longer around to use me or my mother as a human punching bag."

"Rick…" Emma started crying as well. This explained everything. He wasn't violent by nature, that's how he was taught to deal with women. "That only proves you can change!"

"No I can't!!" He screamed at her hysterically. "I can't!" Seeing the look of fear on Emma's face because of his outburst, he ran down the hall. In an attempt to hide, he ran into what he thought was an empty classroom.

"Richard?" Mr. Simpson was sitting at his desk. He looked at Rick, puzzled by the paint.

"Sorry Sir." He darted out of the classroom.

_Okay Rick. It's now or never I suppose._

* * *

Ooo! Suspenseful! Keep Reading! 


	9. Three Times An Attempted Suicide

Ch.9 Three Times An Attempted Suicide

Rating: PG13

Author' notes: This chapter is the POV's (or point of view's) of Emma, Mr. Simpson, and Rick.

(Emma's POV)

"Rick?" As Emma passed her father's classroom, she poked her head inside; it was empty. She continued down the hall.

_I can't believe this. Everything is just getting way out of hand here. I wish my dad were here. I can't deal with this alone._

As Emma turned around another corner, she froze. The color drained from her face. Rick was standing in front of her, holding a gun. Rick's body was shaking: he could barely hold the gun up, much less hold it straight. Still, Emma didn't doubt that he could shot her point blank.

_Oh my God. He's gonna kill me. Oh my God. I never got to say goodbye to Mom, Dad, Jack, Toby, Liberty, JT… Dear God, I swear if I come out of this alive I'll make amends with everyone. I'm so sorry for everything…_

Suddenly, Rick's chocked up voice snapped her back to reality. "I'm sorry about everything Emma. You were the only person who believed me, tried to see me for me. I doubt I would have made it this long without you. I-I… I love you." Without warning, Rick brought the gun to his head.

_No! The letter! I can't believe I didn't see this coming. Talk him out of it Emma! Do something!_

Emma opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Then, someone moving behind Rick caught her eye.

_Dad? What's he doing? Oh my God. He's going to try and stop Rick! Dad, don't! You'll get hurt!_

Emma was so lost and emotionally drained and confused that she just started crying. Her thoughts drifted from Rick to her father so fast that she was getting dizzy.

Just as the gun went off, Mr. Simpson pounced onto Rick. As the two fell to the ground, Emma started screaming.

* * *

(Mr. Simpson's POV)

After Rick left, Mr. Simpson realized what had probably happened. He remembered Dan telling him that Rick was going to be receiving the award for exemplary achievement. Someone probably decided it would be funny to tar him.

_I should probably follow him. To make sure he doesn't do anything stu-_

Mr. Simpson stared in shock at the scene in front of him. Rick was pointing a gun at Emma. He could hear Rick speaking, but he was too far away to make out the words.

Then, Rick brought the gun to his head.

_Oh my God. What am I going to do? I can't stand here while my student takes his life because of a bully. I have to stop him._

All common sense leaving him, he crept up behind Rick.

_One… two… three!_

Just as he lunged onto the boy, he heard the gun go off. Hitting the ground, he felt himself covered in warm liquid. The last thing he heard before blacking out was Emma screaming.

* * *

(Rick's POV)

Shaking, Rick pulled a hand pistol out of his backpack.

_To think, I was going to take it to school and hurt even more people._

After the paint incident, he couldn't. Killing others wouldn't solve the problem.

_I am the problem. And only by destroying the problem, do you have a solution._

Still unsure about how to use it, he pointed it in front of him.

"Rick?" Abruptly, Emma appeared in front of him. She stood, unmoving, looking at the gun.

_I have her attention know. Since I'll be forever gone from this earth in a few moments, I'll tell her how I feel._

"I'm sorry about everything Emma. You were the only person who believed me, tried to see me for me. I doubt I would have made it this long without you. I-I… I love you."

_Goodbye…_

He slowly brought the gun to his head. Just as he pulled the trigger, he felt someone tackle him from behind. As he became enveloped in a warm liquid, the last thing he heard was a shrill voice screaming and the pounding in his head.

* * *

Wow! Wonder what happens next…? 


	10. Karma

Ch.10 Karma

Rating: PG

Author's notes: I just needed a way to get Terri into the hospital. Forgive me if the "volunteer" thing if half-fast and unrealistic.

"Terri! Here's your rounds." Terri's boss handed her a piece of paper.

"Thanks." She looked it over. She looked at her first round. "Coma, gun shot wound. Room 230." Simple enough. She headed off to room 230.

After leaving Degrassi, Terri had decided to become a doctor. When she heard that the hospital needed volunteers to help out, she jumped on the chance.

Before going in, she looked at the chart. "Name: Richard Murry, Gender: Ma-" Terri stopped and did a double take. She rechecked the name to make sure she had read it right; she had.

"Hey Rose?" She got the attention of another volunteer as she walked by.

"Yeah baby?" The woman was an elderly friend of Terri's.

"Do you think that you could take care of this round for me? Personal favor?" Rose was like Terri's adopted grandmother. She knew she could count on her.

"Of course honey." She smiled and walked into the room.

Terri walked away; there was a scared look on her face. She knew that an unconscious Rick shouldn't scare her, but he did. After all, he had put her in a coma. She sighed as she starting making her rounds.

* * *

"Hey honey." Rose greeted Terri as she walked into the break room.

"Hey Rose." Terri frowned as she picked at her salad. She had spent all day thinking about Rick.

"What's the matter child?" Rose sat down next to her. "Is it about that boy, the one you wanted me to take care of for you?"

She nodded. "Ex-boyfriend. He was abusive; put me in a coma."

"Oh." Rose sat back and looked at Terri.

"So what happened with him? Why was he in the hospital?" She shoved her salad away and looked up.

"Well, I don't know the whole story, but I do know that it was an attempted suicide. It seems that someone tarred him during an awards ceremony. He had a gun and tried to shoot himself in the head. It would have been fatal had a teacher not stepped in."

Terri looked at her hands, still frowning. "I gotta go." She stood up and walked out, leaving Rose to herself.

_Okay Terri, just relax. He's in a coma; he can't hurt you._ She took a deep breath and entered room 230. To her surprise, a blonde-haired girl was sitting at the foot of Rick's bed. She was covered in what was either red paint or blood.

"Why did you do this Rick? It was just paint…" She turned her head to the doorway and locked eyes with Terri. There were tears running down her face. "Terri, I presume?" Her voice was emotionless.

"Yeah. Who are you?" Terri looked from the girl to Rick.

"I'm Emma." She glanced back to Rick as well. "I went to school with him. I saw him do this…" Terri knew she was referring to his suicide attempt.

"Why'd he do it?" Terri sat down next to her.

"Because of Spinner and Jay and them…" Emma looked up again, fresh tears flowing off of her face. "I know what he did to you Terri. I do. It's just… over the past few days, I've gotten to know him, and I think he's changed. Every time Spinner shoved him into his locker, Jay threw him on the ground, or Paige would tell him off, he'd just walk away…" Emma wiped her face off. "He was sorry." A look of anger flashed across her face. "They didn't care. Instead of leaving him alone, they cover him in paint and tampons, completely degrading him during his moment of honor." She held up a plaque covered in red paint. She licked her finger and scrubbed part of it off, revealing the words "Exemplary Academic Achievement Award".

"So basically…" Terri paused, "Rick tried to kill himself because of Spinner?"

"And Jay, and Paige, and everyone else in the school."

Terri looked at Emma and Rick. They didn't deserve this. Placing her hand on Emma's shoulder, she tried to comfort her. "I'm really sorry about this. If I'd known-"

Emma shook her head. "This isn't your fault." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Terri. "I don't think Rick meant for you to see this, but you should read it anyway."

Terri opened it up. It was a letter to her from Rick. "Oh my God…" A tear fell from her face. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever read.

"Terri," Emma's voice came out in a shaky whisper, "he was sorry. He really was…"

"I… I have to go." She rose up. Emma nodded, understanding.

* * *

You all remember the letter right? Dearest Terri? 


	11. No Inhibitions, Make No Conditions

Ch.11 No Inhibitions, Make No Conditions

Rating: PG

Fifteen minutes later, Terri arrived at the Dot. Last she heard, Spinner was working here so it only seemed logical that he'd be here.

As she walked into the restaurant, she saw the back of Spinner's head. For the first time in her life, she left all inhibitions behind her.

Anger guiding her every move, she walked up to Spinner and smacked him square in the head.

"What the-?!" He turned around, pissed off. "Terri?" He looked at her confused.

"Hon!" Paige smiled, not realizing she was in a rage. "How are you-?"

"Shut up!" Terri snapped her off. Then she turned to Spinner. "I cannot believe you!" She gave a hollow, icy laugh. "I mean, I knew what a total and complete jerk you were, but who knew you could drive a person to suicide?!"

"Ter, what are you talking about?" He looked at her in confusion as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Rick, award ceremony, paint… any of this ring a bell?" Spinner could almost see flames in her eyes.

"Oh yeah…" He smiled, proud of his handy work. "You know about that?"

"What does that have to do with suicide?" Hazel spoke up.

"Because of this insensitive, pig-headed, ass," she poked Spinner in the stomach over and over as she spoke, "Rick brought a gun to school. Then, he tried to kill himself. Had someone not intervened, he'd be dead!" By now, Terri was screaming.

"Okay. Terri, you cannot blame me for anything that psycho did." Spinner stupidly attempted to defend himself.

She laughed in disbelief. Then she became serious again. "If you seriously believe that, then you are more screwed up than Rick ever was." She looked him right in the face, her nostrils flaring. "FYI Spin," her syllables became stressed, "Rick's not the only reason I left Degrassi." Terri thrust her hand out in front of her, causing the unprepared Spin to fall backwards. As Terri walked away, she looked back and smiled. "You know, for once, I actually understand Rick."

* * *

Author's note: Okay, that was so not Terri, but I liked her! I was so tried of Ter never having a backbone. That's why I love fanfiction! 


	12. Author's Note

This is not a chapter! This is just an author's note.

Okay, I just got done adding a ton of new chapters. In all the chaos, I might have messed some things up. So if it says the wrong chapter up top or something, I apologize.

This is definately the last time I'm going to be updating this much at once!


	13. Arguements and ODs

Rating: PG13

"Hey Dad. How you holding up?" Emma sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Fine." When he and Rick had hit the ground, he had suffered a minor concussion. It was nothing serious, but the doctors wanted to observe him over night.

Suddenly, Emma threw her arms around her father.

"Em, what is it?" He hugged her back.

"It's just… I'm so glad you were there. If it wasn't for you, Rick would be dead right now."

"I know Em. I know…" Her words stung true to Snake. There was one more thing he needed to know. "Emma? Right before Rick almost… What did he say to you?"

Emma took a deep breath. She hesitated, trying to rehearse in her mind what she should say. She was definitely not going to tell him the truth. Or at least, not the whole truth. "I'm not quite sure." Lie. "I think he thanked me for sticking up for him." Truth. "I couldn't really understand him." Lie, lie, lie.

"Oh." Snake looked at her. Emma knew he wasn't convinced, but he didn't press the matter.

"I just wish there were more that I could have done more for him."

"No Emma!" Snake surprised even himself at his sudden outburst. "I want you to promise me that you'll just try and forget about Rick."

"What!" Emma stood up in shock at her father. "I can't just ditch him Dad. He needs me."

"He needs more help than you or I can give him!"

"He doesn't need help Dad! He just needs someone to be there for him, to care about him."

"He has parents-"

"That obviously don't care about him at all!" Her voice became louder and louder. "His father's dead and he was abusive! It doesn't take much to see his family's screwed up!"

"Emma, that's not our problem!"

"Why did you even stop Rick from killing himself? You don't even care about him!"

Before he could argue, Emma dashed out into the hallway.

It didn't matter what anyone said. She refused to give up on Rick. Right before he pulled that trigger, Emma sensed something in him. Something good, something pure. Something that she wouldn't give up on without a fight.

* * *

As Emma walked the halls of the hospital, something she had said kept ringing in her mind._ "It doesn't take much to see his family's screwed up!" _She couldn't help but wonder about Rick's mother. Surely any other mother would be at their child's side if they were in a coma, right? 

Passing Rick's room, something caught her eye. His charts! She could look up his address and visit his mother for herself.

She did just that. Twenty minutes later she was standing in front of a little two-story shack. The grass was overgrown, the house a mess. Emma could hardly believe that it was still standing.

Cautiously, she knocked on the door. When she got no answer, she knocked harder, causing the door to spring open.

"Hello?" She called into the house. Still, no one answered. Despite the unsettling silence, Emma walked into the living room. An old, beat-up, retro-looking couch was shoved against a wall. A black and white TV was placed on an end table in front of it. Cans and bottles of beer and vodka scattered the floor.

Disgusted, Emma carefully walked into the kitchen, making sure to avoid all the trash. It looked like the rest of the house. Sitting on the table, Emma saw something that appeared to be a blanket and some old clothes.

Upon closer examination, Emma shrieked. It was a woman. Her face was against the table, but Emma saw by her hands and arms that her skin had a bluish hue to it. She reeked of alcohol and filth. When Emma saw the needle poking out of her arm, she realized it was probably an overdose. Instincts taking over, she called the police.

* * *

"Miss Nelson, are you sure that you saw no one entering or leaving the house?" 

"I told you! It was just me!"

After the paramedics had arrived, the police had started asking her questions. Right now they were pummeling her with the same few over and over.

"Emma!" Spike ran up and started hugging Emma. "Are you okay?" She looked her over as if she was making sure she was still in one piece.

"Yeah Mom." Emma assured her. "Fine." Her eyes followed the paramedics as they rushed the woman outside.

"Who's that?" Spike looked over.

"Dunno. They think it might be Ms. Murry, but they don't know for sure." She stood up. "Can we go back to the hospital?" Spike nodded.

* * *

"Mrs. Nelson?" A doctor walked up to Emma and Spike. 

"Yes?" They both stood up.

"Well, we have a positive ID on the woman, a Ms. Paulette Murry."

"That's great!" Emma smiled. "It's Rick's mom." She looked at her mother.

"Not so great…" The doctor's face fell. "I'm sorry, but she didn't make it. She suffered an OD."

"An OD?"

"An overdose. I'm sorry." He left them to themselves.

"Mom… What are we going to do? Rick's father's dead and so is his mother." She leaned against Spike.

"I don't know Emma." Spike brushed Emma's hair with her fingers. "I just don't know."

* * *

Will Rick ever wake up from his a coma? Will he have a home to go to if he does? 


	14. How Do You Get That Lonely?

"Mom, I'm going to my room." Emma excused herself from the dinner table.

"Okay honey."

It was only the day after Rick had tried to shoot himself. Snake was upstairs in bed. He and Emma still hadn't really made up over that incident about Rick.

"Rick…" She plopped down on her bed and sighed. He was still in a coma and didn't appear to be coming out of it anytime soon. Because he was officially an orphan, doctors at the hospital had been trying to locate other family members that could make decisions regarding his treatment options. Emma, however, wasn't holding her breath. If he did have any other relatives, they were probably as screwed up as his parents.

Emma picked up the remote control to her stereo. She turned the radio on. A country song started playing. Though Emma was definitely not a country fan, she didn't bother to change it.

**It was just another story  
****Printed on the second page  
****Underneath the Tiger's football score  
****It said he was only eighteen  
****A boy about my age  
****They found him facedown on his bedroom floor  
****There'll be services on Friday  
****At the Lawrence funeral home  
****Then out on Mooresville highway  
****They'll lay him 'neath the stone**

**How do you get that lonely?  
****How do you hurt that bad?  
****To make you make the call  
****That having no life at all  
****Is better than the life that you have  
****How do you feel so empty,  
****You want to let it all go?  
****How do you get that lonely,  
****And nobody knows?**

**Did his girlfriend break up with him?  
****Did he buy or steal that gun?  
****Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol?  
****Did his mom and daddy forget,  
****To say I love you son?  
****Did no one see the writing on the wall?**

**I'm not blaming anybody  
****We all do the best we can  
****I know hindsight's twenty-twenty  
****But I still don't understand**

**How do you get that lonely?  
****How do you hurt that bad?  
****To make you make the call  
****That having no life at all  
****Is better than the life that you have  
****How do you feel so empty,  
****You want to let it all go?  
****How do you get that lonely,  
****And nobody knows?**

"And nobody knows…" Emma repeated the last line to herself.

Suddenly, an idea popped into Emma's head. Not even bothering to turn her stereo or lights off, she ran upstairs.

Spike was in the kitchen washing dishes when Emma ran over to her.

"Mom! Mom!" Emma was panting by the time she whipped around in front of her.

"Emma, calm down. What is it?"

"Mom, can we adopt Rick?"

* * *

Gotta leave a cliffhanger! Stay tuned…

Song credits and the title go to Blaine Larson "How Do You Get That Lonely"


	15. Decisions

"What?" In shock, Spike dropped the plate into the sink that she had been washing. It clanged against the others as soap suds went flying.

"Can we adopt Rick? Well, not necessarily adopt him, but at least let him stay with us once he gets out of the hospital?

"Wha..?" Spike was at a loss for words. "Wa- Where did this come from?"

"I don't know. I was just thinking." Emma looked at her feet. It had seemed like a good idea until she had to defend it.

Spike's mouth hung open as she closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Em, do you have any idea what you're asking?"

Emma bit her lip. "Mom, just think about it." She tried to sound as sincere as possible. "He doesn't have any family. He has no one that cares about him!"

"Em, I'm sorry about Rick, honey. I really am. But we can't just take him in." Spike was wringing her hands on a dish towel.

"Mom! He's not like some stray dog off of the street! He's my friend!" Tears tickled the corner of her eyes. "I'm the only person he has!"

Spike bit her lip and looked at her daughter. "Think about what you're asking me to do Emma. Even if your father and I were in any financial situation to take another child in, we already have too much going on. What with Jack, Snake recovering, everything else…"

Tears began flowing down Emma's cheeks. "So you're going to just leave him to die in the hospital?"

"Em, sweetie-"

Before Spike could finish, Emma had already run out the front door.

"Emma!" Spike ran over to the door and stuck her head out just in time to see Emma running around the corner of the street.

* * *

"Ugh!" Spinner groaned as the phone next to his bed began ringing for the millionth time that day. After Terri had completely blown up at him at the Dot, he went straight home. Now, Paige had recruited everyone she knew to call Spinner and check up on him. He was by no means exaggerating either. He had gotten calls from Paige, Marco, Jimmy, Hazel, Ashley, Toby, even Ellie!

"Honeybee, pick up!" Spinner groaned again as he recognized Paige's voice on the other end.

"Spin, I know you're there! Why don't you just pick up the phone?"

Spinner turned onto his stomach and pulled a pillow over his head.

After waiting a few seconds, Paige spoke again. "Look, it's not like you actually did pull off that paint and tampons thing on Rick. Terri probably just had it wrong."

Fuming in guilt, he picked up the phone. Screaming into it, he told Paige the truth. "Yes I did! I did tar Rick! It's all my fault!" Tears streaming down his face he slammed the phone down onto the end table over and over again. After a few minutes, the phone was completely destroyed. He flung what was left of the headset across the room.

Spinner lost it. He started punching holes into the wall next to his bed. After a few minutes of completely trashing his room, Spinner started to calm down a little bit.

He decided he had to get out of the house. He walked downstairs into the kitchen. Just as he was about to leave, his parent's liquor cabinet caught his eye. His eyes traveled over the bottles of alcohol.

* * *

What will happen between Emma and her parents? What will happen to Rick? Will Spinner give in to the temptations of drowning his guilt in alcohol? 


	16. Just Like Him

Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been working on my other stories and a new Law & Order: SVU story. So, I hope you like this!

Chapter 16 Just Like Him…

"Oh my God…" Spinner pitched forward as he lost his balance again. He looked up and tried to remember where he was. After a minute or so, he remembered that he was walking around the park near his house. "Unnn…" He moaned as he held his head. He didn't know how much alcohol he had, but he knew it was enough to get him so drunk that he couldn't stand.

"Spinner?" He heard a familiar voice above him. He looked up. It was Dylan. "What are you doing? Here." The blonde haired boy extended his hand to Spinner.

Spin awkwardly shoved his hand away and tried to stand on his own. After getting to his knees though, he fell again.

"Oh my God Spin, are you drunk?" The unmistakable voice of his girlfriend stung Spinner's ears. "You are! Spin, you are so unbelievable!"

"Paige, shh. Yelling isn't going to help." Dylan tried to calm his little sister down. "Let's just get him home."

"Fine." Paige huffed and crossed her arms.

While Dylan and Paige had been talking, Spinner had somehow managed to make it to his feet.

"Come on Spin, we're taking you home." Paige grabbed her boyfriend's hand and started pulling him back towards his house.

"No…" Spinner slurred a protest and refused to budge.

"Spinner!" Paige kept trying to pull him with her.

"I said no!" Spinner wrenched his hand out of Paige's. In a rage, he pushed Paige backwards.

Paige let out a yell and fell backwards onto the grass, her head missing the concrete sidewalk by mere inches.

Realizing what he had done, a look of shock crossed Spinner's face.

"Paige!" Dylan dropped to his knees. "Oh my God, are you okay?" He looked Paige over to make sure she hadn't suffered any serious injuries.

"I'm f-fine." Paige sat up and looked at Spinner. There was a look of fear in her eyes.

"Spinner, how could you man!" Dylan looked at Spinner with such fury in his eyes that Spinner backed away from the athletic hockey player. "You could have killed her!"

There were unshed tears in Paige's eyes as she stared at Spinner. In a whisper, she spoke. "Terri was right. You are just like Rick."

As soon as Paige started speaking, Spinner continued to back up, his face filled with confusion. Tears started pouring down his face as he realized that Paige was right.

Suddenly, he turned around and burst into a sprint across the park.

"Paige, are you okay?" Dylan looked at the back of Paige's head to make sure she didn't have any cuts or anything.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." She wiped her eyes. "My head just hurts a little."

"Can you stand up?" Dylan stood up and helped Paige up as well. Dylan noticed Paige was shaking and holding the back of her head. "Come on Paige. I think we should get you to a hospital."

Paige just looked up at the path Spinner had taken. She still couldn't believe it. Terri was right. He was just like Rick…

* * *

As Emma rounded the corner, she began to slow down. She couldn't believe her parents. No one understood how alone Rick was in this world. All they saw was someone who needed help that they didn't want to give him. Maybe a caring home was all that he needed. Hell, it was probably the only thing the poor kid wanted. So why didn't anyone understand?

Emma continued walking down the sidewalk, she noticed someone sitting down on a bench across the street. It was Spinner.

Going against everything she'd ever been taught, Emma walked right into the street and over to where he was sitting.

"What are you doing!" Emma screamed from a few yards away. Spinner looked up at her. Once he realized who it was, he got up and started walking the other way. "Hey!" Emma ran in front of him. "Where are you going?"

"Emma, leave me alone." He sounded as if he had been crying.

"Oh yeah, like you left Rick alone!"

"I'm sorry about Rick, Emma. Please, just leave me alone." His voice began to crack.

"How could you do that to Rick? You didn't even know him!"

"I told you, I'm-"

"Sorry, yeah I heard! But honestly, what do you know about Rick?"

Spinner mumbled something.

"What?"

"Nothing! Okay? Nothing!"

"Did you know that Rick's father used to beat him and his mother? Or that his father died? Or that his mother just died and he's an orphan now?"

Spinner looked at Emma, his eyes wide with guilt. "No, I didn't know."

Emma looked at him, a fury in her eyes. "What kind of person beats up someone who's already dead on the inside?"

Spinner blinked his tears away as he answered her. "Someone who's just like Rick." Suddenly, Spinner began bawling. He fell to his knees. "I'm just like him! I'm sorry! I'm sorry Paige!" He held his knees and began rocking back and forth.

Emma just watched on in shock at Spinner. She had never seen anyone act like this. As she thought about it, she realized that Spinner was acting like he was drunk or high or something.

"Spinner, I…" Emma leaned over to try and touch Spinner to comfort him, but quickly jerked her hand back. She looked around, feeling people's stares land on her. Spinner was making a huge scene and everyone was watching. Emma knew she had to get him out of here, to a hospital, or something.

"Spinner, please!" She leaned over and grabbed one of his arms. She tried to stand up and lift him, but he wouldn't move. "Spinner!" She pulled again, this time, harder than before. And again, he didn't move. Emma dropped his arm and realized she'd never move him unless he wanted to be moved.

"Spinner, you are not like Rick." She looked him in the eyes, and lied. It was the only way she could think of to get Spinner to stand up. "You didn't know." Emma bit her lip and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She couldn't believe she was really doing this. "I shouldn't have yelled. Please, just come with me. Something's obviously wrong. I need to get you help." Emma locked into his eyes. "Please Spinner, let me help you."

Still sobbing, Spinner stood up. Emma put her arm around his shoulders and propped him upwards, helping him walk. Awkwardly, Emma dragged him to her house.

"Mom!" Once she got to her doorstep, she dropped Spinner on the steps. He was still sobbing and completely out of it.

"Emma!" Spike appeared at the door with a phone in hand. "I was going to call the police! Don't you ever run off-" Spike's gaze finally landed on Spinner. "Is that… Spinner? What happened?"

"I ran into him by the bus stop. I started yelling at him and he just lost it. He started crying and apologizing to Paige." Emma threw her hands up. "I think he's drunk. We should get him to a hospital."

"Jack's upstairs, I can't leave him alone."

"Fine, I'll watch him. You drive Spinner."

Thinking for a moment, Spike answered. "Okay. Help me get him in the car."

After awhile of struggling with Spinner, they finally got him into the car.

"Thanks Mom," Emma said as Spike got into the driver's seat.

"Yeah." She buckled her seat belt. "Could you feed Jack?"

Emma nodded as Spike drove off.


End file.
